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my tattoo on one side

September 2012



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Sep. 8th, 2012

my tattoo on one side

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Dec. 17th, 2011

my tattoo on one side

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So for months I've been having joint pain. I've been saying that I feel like something is wrong and trying to get people to listen. So pretty much in the last few weeks the shit has hit the fan health wise and I'm really ill.
Its looking like something is seriously wrong. My legs are swollen. I have this excrutiating pain in my left back/abdomin area. I thought for sure it was a kidney stone, it hurts that bad and makes me double over in pain. My pulse rate has been up from the pain. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm retaining so much water, last week I weighed 124, this week 145. I don't even want to look at the scale.

The theory is that it is an auto immune disease like Lupus or something. I've been to the ER twice this week, and they know something is wrong, they just can't do anything but make sure my life is not in immediate danger and control the pain. They have been so nice and doing extra testing so I have it for my rheumetologist visit next week.

I wasn't scared, but now I am.

Dec. 1st, 2011

my tattoo on one side

(no subject)

My band is so tight due to the horrible shitstorm that is my life right now. I am 110 pounds and trying to get my weight up but havng horrible aniexty that has made my band very tight.

On the bright side, I am enjoying a carbonated beverage for the first time in over three years. It is purely theraputic to try and open up my band so I can get thick liquids down. Its working and delicious. The burping is definitely enough of a deterent for me to not make this a habit. But I needed to try something and this definitely helped

Nov. 19th, 2011

my tattoo on one side

(no subject)

Something is really wrong with me and it sucks. My joints hurt all over my body. My fingers and toes hurt and tingle. Friday became so bad I couldn't walk on my feet without it hurting. Doctor gave me tramadol until I see a rheumetologist and it is definitely helping. I actually slept the night through. Aaron even got up and turned the tv on while I was sleeping next to him in bed and I didn't budge for awhile.


Sep. 7th, 2011

my tattoo on one side

Life update.

Graduate Buffalo State with a BA in English. Magna cum laude bitches :)
Started my master's program in library science. It is all online. Loving it.
Knee is really good, can't run, jump or twist. Slowing getting back to the gym routine.

I weigh 117 pounds. Yea. Insane. I am really really skinny. Too skinny.

I had a vitamin D deficiency and it sucked the life out of me. I have never felt so horrible in my entire life. I couldn't be up walking around for more than an hour at a time.

My kitty, Tater, almost died from a urethra blockage. He's been in the vet for almost 6 days. We spent sooo much money getting him fixed. It just sucks because there is nothing wrong with him besides a tiny little particle in there. Surgery fixed it and they have basically made his little kitty penis a little kitty vagina. So my fuzzy gay cat has pretty much had a sex change. He's coming home tomorrow, poor guy.

I turn 26 on Saturday. I love my boyfriend.

Jul. 4th, 2011

my tattoo on one side

(no subject)

Yikes. I'm skinny.

I was worried about being inactive and gaining weight... well the opposite is happening.

Before ACL surgery I did a lot of cardio and I went from 152 to 140, which is what I weighed at my pre-op appt. I know part of that was breaking through a stall plus the result of calorie counting and cardio.

Well as of today I weigh 128. Holy. shit. 128.

I always have looked like I weigh less and I do have maybe a few pounds of excess skin in my arms, thighs and tummy. Someone at work said I look like a weigh 100 pounds.

My family and boyfriend are kind of bitching at me. 128 is perfectly healthy for my height and weight, its just sort of shocking to them and even to myself to see me this thin. My BMI is 22.0. I have a good 4 points before I get "too thin"

I can't wait to work out again. Knees are depressing. Walking stiffens me right up and I still have a lot of pain. No more pain killers though. Some days are really tough.

Jun. 1st, 2011

my tattoo on one side

Happy dance.

Today I woke up to see the mailman walking across my front lawn (he was early and I just had knee surgery so I'm indulging in sleeping late).

So I hobble to the mailbox and jutting out is one of those big, brown envelopes with the University at Buffalo logo on it.

So I try not to dance, explode with joy or anything similar because of said knee surgery, but I more or less shred the envelope to find:



May. 25th, 2011

my tattoo on one side

knee stuff

Anyway, still hurting and still on crutches. I did hae torn cartilage, this time in the lateral meniscus, my first tear three years ago was medial. Hopefully this will stop any tearing, I'm already bone on bone in some places.

I started PT on Monday and had my one week on Tuesday.

The one week she just checked my range of motion. In short, the ligament tightens up and you loose basically all range of motion. But she had my bend my knee and she says " Oh look at you! You're almost at 90 degrees."

So my progress is going well, today we did all kinds of stuff in physical therapy and I'm feeling it now.

I can basically straighten my knee to touch it down on a table. I can bend it towards me at almost 90 degrees, but there is a definite resistance. And it's weak and the muscle already is atrophying, you can see the difference in swelling and muscle tone from my other leg. I can start bearing some weight with crutches this week, but that means wearing the ridiculous brace.

Mentally, I'm going crazy. Just really depressed about being stuck inside. I'm also tired, I know mostly from being depressed and from the surgery. I'm lonely and it sucks that I'm missing out on things. Aaron is reading at RLT today and I wish I could go, but can't drive, thus can't go. The first week I did really crappy with my eating because my best friend was in town, and I could hardly do anything so we just ordered pizza. As soon as I can bear weight I'm going to get into the gym in the basement and start using my weight bench.

In all, ACL repair sucks! But I'll be glad when I'm better.
my tattoo on one side

Thanks to my cats

Cats are such fantastic little creatures.

I've rescued most of out cats, Spooky is the only one from the SPCA. Taters weighed a half a pound when I found him and he was filled with worms when we took him to a et the next day, and they couldn't worm him because he weighed too little.

Omen got separated from his mother in Dale's backyard. I grabbed him when Dale's dogs had him cornered. He didn't know how to eat on his own so I had to bottle feed him which is an awesome bonding experience.

Well basically, I spend most of my time in my room because it's just the most comfortable. Omen has been in here basically since I had surgery hanging out with me. It's interesting because he usually isn't in here like this, granted I'm normally not in here, I'd be out and about, but when I'm here at night he's usually not in here. It's pretty cute, like he understands something is wrong with me and is keeping me company.

In short, Omen I <3 you and appreciate you.

May. 23rd, 2011

my tattoo on one side

(no subject)

Ugh. This sucks. Super depressed that my summer has gone down the drain. I want to be able to do things and I can't. I feel totally left out and shitty.

I don't know.

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